To Eat: Coconut Ramen Curry

Coconut Ramen Curry. Sounds boring and uninformative. How do you name recipes anyway? Should I have added the word Thai in there? I mean, it tasted like a dish you would get at a Thai restaurant. Should I have said the word peanut because the recipe contains peanut butter? All recipe titles tend to sound…

The Forgiveness Mourning

Day in and day out, my body sustains unprecedented torture, destruction and hate. Whether it is me, my eating disorder, or the society I live in, my body gets shit. What is it that persecutes my body? Who me? But I am no egotistical maniac. No menacing creature that thrives on pain. So I thought….

A Good Friend Is A Good Listener

“A good friend is a good listener”. How many days have I lived at war with my body? I look back and can only remember victories and defeats. Victories that I didn’t have a midnight snack and went to bed hungry. Victories when I pushed myself through a seven mile run with little to no…

To Eat: Sweet and Hot Plum Chutney

I have a hard time wasting food. In fact, I hate doing it so much that it makes me anxious to see copious amounts of food sprawled out on the counter, knowing that half of it will make me feel as though I’ve overeaten and the other half will go it waste (eg. Thanksgiving, Labor…

I Raise My Glass to Recovery; My History with Alcohol

Alcohol. Beer. Wine. Gin and Tonics. Hard Cider. Margaritas. I’ve been exposed to them my whole life. My father made it a point to not shelter us from the stuff. I guess you could say that he wanted his children to be wine connoisseurs and beer snobs rather than binge drinkers. At around the age…

This Is My Story

My partner told me I should write ‘my story’ on my blog. I sighed. “But it’s so boring and I tell everyone!” I’ll be honest. It’s not very exciting, crazy weird, or entertainingly traumatic–because sometimes we love a good trauma story, admit it. No siblings passed away, my parents live a happy marriage, no long-term…

The Basics.

Hey ya’ll. Wondering if you could forgive me. I literally jumped right into this blog expecting everyone to know inside my mind, to know my past, to know the science of everything Eating Disorder related. I do not know who all my readers are…(I think I have a sum of 30, so I probably do lol)….

A Battle Between McCaleb and ED. Who Won?

Oh Recovery. I don’t challenge myself enough. (*sigh*, just let me pity myself a little, ok?) My day went like this… I didn’t finish every bite of food for breakfast. I had a healthy, balanced, and skinny-ly portioned lunch. I walked a lot. I skipped my afternoon snack, while still expecting to workout when I…

That Damn To-Do List

On your mark. Get set. Go. A day includes work, school, obligations, responsibilities, adulting, planning, talking, the list goes on…. A day leaves little room for quiet. What if more days consisted of arising from bed at a 2 mph rate. Bumming around the house with a coffee in hand. Reading the paper on the…